I presume the avatar of that gentleman who waved at me from the other side of the road won’t be of my lost love, John. Or is that him, the peck of doubt in my heart has now grown out like a wildfire. It is now consuming my inner being.
The lost love is such a cliche these days, but every story is unique in its own way when elaborated. The end of that pitch perfect love has now taken a diverse route and heading unprecedentedly away from humanity or in simple words, am I trying to tell that there is no such thing called pure love? Ah-Ha. Seldom stories reveal the chemistry of love and not the biology. That fumes which built up within escape through our senses to the counterpart, may be fume them up or irritate them from the pungent after effect. Whatever it is I don’t think it would call up on itself as tasteless and property-less matter. If that was what it is being called as love, people would never fall for it. What more to say, even the tasteless water stay as elixir of life, and may be love is the elixir of soul, but sometimes it turns out to be weird when the counterpart treats love as elixir of body alone.
Was that the reason why John and I parted? Or may be more than that! May be my fumes of love might have irritated him, pushing me far away.
Was this break necessary? Yes, absolutely. That obsolete curve which I might have considered as acute is now helping me to wander with that dignity which I lost when the havoc hammered on my head. That moment when my emotions over ruled the reality I slipped away, and yes indeed this break was absolutely required for me to restore and see the world with an eagle eye which can be seen only from a higher dimension.
I agree that I was crawling in the smokiness of the grilled up life, it was an unpleasant feeling that only time can heal, I might be wrong for emphasising time and not higher love. Only a knife can take the bullet out of the wound. Only love can heal the heart which was broken staying in love.
The beep sound of ECG machine took me out of the tripping. There was this thin air filled in my room which I can hardly breath, The coldness has now caught the grip of my leg and its scrawling up towards my heart. Its freezing me up and I twitched my legs to get myself out of it.
There are four hands holding me back and a blurry image of a man in white coat examining me, it doesn’t look so pleasing and I closed my eyes.
I lay there in the bed in an emergency care unit. The ECG is showing a straight line, doctor has removed his mask and said time of death 6:57 PM.
I walked behind the doctor, I was screaming at my peak voice only to hear it back. I was on my way home for Christmas vacation. I desperately wanted to be with my family.
In the corridor I saw my lost love John wearing a white t shirt covered in blood. What is he doing here, police in their uniform arrested a guy and has taken him near the bed where my body laid still.
There is a deep silence in me, may be this is what they call as Rest In Peace.