In the arms of music

What makes an artist, an artist is not the perfomance he shows infront of his audience, but the discipline and the humbleness in which he or she presents themselves, to reach  out to all the individual hearts and souls. That feeling rips off any person who might be proud of their acheivement in life. 

Every art has a value added by the artist, just like a fingerprint, a uniqueness which is way beyond the imagination of the admirers. I am an admirer of art, music, poems, words, anything that aims a cupid at the pinnacle of my heart. That feeling of nostalgia or sometimes of a belonging that I never experienced physically, but carries away in a flight to an unknown destination. And that’s flight that takes you is the art. 

The luxury I enjoy through all the five senses that God gave me. 

That strange feeling

Sometimes, regrets haunt me inside out. There are moments when I just made a step back, unwilling to get out of my comfort zone, and travel the road less travelled and definitely that road I never travelled before. I get laid back and relax in the loop of comfortness. Endurance is the best way to push our boundaries an inch by inch. 

You can do any of the two things, either beat the beast that encroaches you or join the league of beasts. And right now I’m in a dilemma. It is hard to rise up against the odds, but considering the reward, I chose to find my way out. Will I be able to cross the roads and hurdles that try to stir up my spirit and change it into an ugly muddy chaotic spirit. I don’t know. Or may be I know exactly what I want and I don’t acknowledge it because I don’t find the silver ray in my horizonal visibility. 

Life gets screwed up. Sometimes there are things we once consider valuable die within us, and then become garbage. If the garbage is not properly treated it can ruin the entire house. It gets stinky and turn the house to be uninhabitable. So what needs to be done? Just bury the dead deep inside and never try to dig it back.  

Forgiveness is an art, an art that can be mastered over years. Forgiving others is a deed of kindness, but to forgive oneself needs courage and above all need self-control. 

Irreversible Regrets

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Her little fingers abused the volume + button of the stereo set, annoying everyone who never liked the Pop music and Uncle Job shouting at her to reduce the volume. Serena has just entered into her teenage years and like any other teenage girl she too is going through all the spontaneity of a withered spirit, that craving to break the rules and find pleasure in taking challenges which are merely impossible to achieve. Uncle Job was an accomplice of her naivety, in others words Serena is a target of Uncle Job’s crudity. A rudimentary elder and a perplexed  teenager could make the worst relationship and they were successful in proving the earlier statement. Uncle job found pleasure in dumping his primal principles to a 21st century born Serena, only to get fired up with her imprudent replies.
Uncle Job stayed single his entire life. But that never made him lonely, he was content in who he was and was been talkative to whoever comes by in their neighborhood. He was a living database, full of information about people. Sometimes Serena used to think government could approach him for getting the census for their town.There is this one particular character about him that has to be mentioned predominantly, that is he is a soliloquist. Whereas Serena is a seventh grader, who wandered in her own world. She never let anyone wander in hers is a specialty about her.
Serena’s dad always struggled to make a balance between his elder brother and his daughter. He has been in such dilemma that, he could not disrespect his brother at the same time cannot hurt his only daughter. Later, he learned one thing that he should never get in between them, he decided to let them to be on their own way. Let them fight till they die, but he never wanted to bring a scratch on his relationship with either his brother or daughter and that was the best decision he has ever taken, so that let his blood relations  get burned up in the tension of fire which they themselves blew up and die. Sometimes being a mute spectator is worth a million times than being a helpless intruder. Serena’s dad left her with Job and made his way to town. In the night fall, when she was deafened by the silence, she realized how much he wanted Uncle Job’s company until her dad gets back home. Keeping her perverseness aside she knocked at Uncle Job’s room, to ask if he has had his dinner. If not at least he would be able to accompany her. The little gestures paved way to long conversation where they both talked nearly for 2 hours until Larry returned. Serena hit the sack then and there when she saw her dad. As the dawn breaks she became a new creature. The small talk with her uncle Job has melted that anger towards him, uncle Job too felt like Serena was his unborn daughter. They built up little compassion for each other, but that affection did not last long, when Uncle Job scolded her mom. After all who could bear if somebody scolds their mom for no reason and that one incident made Serena move away double the distance she became close to her Uncle on that night.  Though her mom persuaded Serena from making a havoc against her Uncle, a teenage heart is something which has to be handled with care. Serena felt more disturbed when her mom told that her uncle used to be a schizophreniac earlier. Now that both of them has to be handled  with care.
May be that distance has hurt both of them equally, they never tried to solve it out. The next day Uncle job has a high fever and he was in pain,he screamed out of pain, but that never opened Serena’s ears, neither her hardened heart. Her parents had gone out of city. Later in the night when they returned Serena ignored to mention about Uncle Job’s condition to her parents. Larry gave Job paracetamol and promised to take him to the hospital next day.
Before she left to school, Serena checked with her dad if he has made an appointment with the doctor for Uncle Job. In the afternoon, she was called to the Principal’s office, being the class leader she wasn’t worried about this call. But there in the office was her cousin. There was a deep silence, there wasn’t any words needed to convey the message.
She left the school along with her cousin, there were voices in her head, calling her guilty. On her way to home, the radio played How to save a life by the Fray, “Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, Somewhere along in the bitterness”. The bitterness in her heart has now turned to be numbness. She entered her home only to see Uncle Job lying on his bed covered in the white sheets. For a second she thought if she would have told her parents about his health condition the previous night, they would have taken to the hospital the night before and could have saved his life. She desperately wanted the earth to rotate  few hours in reverse. She made a wreck out of her mind, cursed that moment when she increased the volume of stereo and ignored to Uncle Job’s cry. She went closer to her uncle and hot droplets of tears fell on his feet. A silent apology.

Virtuality Vs. Reality

I live in a virtual world
World where reality is so far
Far beyond imagination
Imaginations lead to virtuality
But now I prefer the reality
I like to play around my farmhouse
Not the virtual one
I like to feed my cows and hens
Not the virtual ones
I like the sound of raindrops
Not the virtual one
I play slingshot to drive away those angry brids
No, not the virtual ones
When I say this, I can see stares
which meant I’m an outlier
Outlier of the current reality
This reality is virtual
Or may be this virtuality is the reality
I wanna live in my reality
A life with fidelity
Far away from this virtuality
Hail with simplicity

Bangalore – The Garden City of India

collage-2017-05-28Bangalore aka Bengaluru! What an amazing city! This is the place where coolness and hotness coalesce. A city of vibrant crowd, rustic and cosmopolitan at the same time. This is where Pastas and Dosas go hand in hand. When I first moved to this place, I was judgmental about the culture I would experience here, the traffic and the chaos, the carefree life.

After staying in this place for six months I can now confidently say, I was completely wrong. This city breathe and feed on its own culture. Though there are influences, she is true to herself. It didn’t take much long for me to realize that more than any other festivals, life is celebrated here. What more do you want?  A place where you can perceive all the flavors of life.  Isn’t that what really matters?

Image Credits: Google Images

 

The Mystery Box

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 Widened her eyes to see that perky basket sitting on her bedroom’s floor. What’s that little basket hoping up and down near her teal colored foot rest.” Mom, mom”, she exploded out with that twitchy sound she had in the cold winter mornings.

 Mom was  sure that her 10 year old daughter is so afraid of all those wall climbing insects especially spiders. Showing her spiderman didn’t build any confidence her. This girl is still afraid of spider, what will I do it take away her fear?, she thought.

“Mom, can you please come up here, I promise this time it’s not a spider, but something else”. That has hit mom’s hears. She climbed upstairs leaving out the eggs on the stove to let it burn. The tapping on the floor has worsened now. ‘This is crazy, mom some ET has visited us last night, she said with her quirky voice” said the girl. “Thats what I wonder, if the whole fictional stories that I have read and seen have now come into a reality”, added her mom.

Mom took Amanda’s tennis bat that was lying next to her wardrobe and carefully removed the lid of the basket, she was getting back into her childishness, that fear, amusement, all paradigms her 10 year old Amanda has.

Amanda and her mom held each other close so even the death do us apart may not prevail.

Turning down all spookiness, there came out a tiny little puppy. The golden fur that covered its body reveals that, it could be a golden retriever.

All the fears and worries have now turned into a moment of joy and cheers.

Amanda took the pup and started playing with it. But her mom’s investigation senses now have taken up the light. She searched the basket to find the letter that shook her from head to toe.

Dear Amanda,

Here is the pup which I promised you. Take good care of it. Be a good girl and don’t make any trouble to mom.

Hope to see you soon.

Love,

Dad

These words have melted her heart. Amanda was raised by her mother alone. She never had any support from her dad. But now breaking all ice her mom has found that she is talking to her dad regularly. Wasn’t she a perfect mom? She wondered, but then she thought of her relationship with her dad. If she can have a good relationship with her dad, why would she abstain her kid from having that affection with her dad.

She threw a kind gaze at her daughter and her new friend.

Chemistry of Love

I presume the avatar of that gentleman who waved at me from the other side of the road won’t be of my lost love, John. Or is that him, the peck of doubt in my heart has now grown out like a wildfire. It is now consuming my inner being. 

The lost love is such a cliche these days, but every story is unique in its own way when elaborated. The end of that pitch perfect love has now taken a diverse route and heading unprecedentedly away from humanity or in simple words, am I trying to tell that there is no such thing called pure love? Ah-Ha. Seldom stories reveal the chemistry of love and not the biology. That fumes which built up within escape through our senses to the counterpart, may be fume them up or irritate them from the pungent after effect. Whatever it is I don’t think it would call up on itself as tasteless and property-less matter. If that was what it is being called as love, people would never fall for it. What more to say, even the tasteless water stay as elixir of life, and may be love is the elixir of soul, but sometimes it turns out to be weird when the counterpart treats love as elixir of body alone. 

Was that the reason why John and I parted? Or may be more than that! May be my fumes of love might have irritated him, pushing me far away. 

 Was this break necessary? Yes, absolutely. That obsolete curve which I might have considered as acute is now helping me to wander with that dignity which I lost when the havoc hammered on my head. That moment when my emotions over ruled the reality I slipped away, and yes indeed this break was absolutely required for me to restore and see the world with an eagle eye which can be seen only from a higher dimension. 

I agree that I was crawling in  the smokiness of the grilled up life, it was an unpleasant feeling that only time can heal, I might be wrong for emphasising time and not higher love. Only a knife can take the bullet out of the wound. Only love can heal the heart which was broken staying in love. 

The beep sound of ECG machine took me out of the tripping. There was this thin air filled in my room which I can hardly breath, The coldness has now caught the grip of my leg and its scrawling up towards my heart. Its freezing me up and I twitched my legs to get myself out of it.

There are four hands holding me back and a blurry image of a man in white coat examining me, it doesn’t look so pleasing and I closed my eyes.

I lay there in the bed in an emergency care unit. The ECG is showing a straight line, doctor has removed his mask and said time of death 6:57 PM.

 I walked behind the doctor, I was screaming at my peak voice only to hear it back. I was on my way home for Christmas vacation. I desperately wanted to be with my family. 

In the corridor I saw my lost love John wearing a white t shirt covered in blood. What is he doing here, police in their uniform arrested a guy and has taken him near the bed where my body laid still. 

There is a deep silence in me, may be this is what they call as Rest In Peace. 

Burn the wall and build a bridge

Hussled and crowded places were never a part of their rendezvous. Their soul craved for silence and peace, neverthless their past gave them any. Sabreena and Karim, two beautiful souls who were raised up in an orthodox Christian and Muslim families, respectively, where the possibility of falling in love with another soul would come not even in their craziest dreams.

Karim, a handsome young man, who always dreamed about living in a first world country, who aimed to be a pilot, to fly around and above the world. But the havoc of destruction hit above his head in a moment,in the form of a missile from US Marine. The M242 Bushmaster ruled a mastery above all the shattered dreams that lay down. As with Gaza, Karim’s future and dreams went to an infinite loop of uncertainity. 

In another world, Sabreena a beautiful woman in her early twenties packed up her bag and left her homeland in search for her Marine brother. Somebody who climbed the corporate ladder at a very early stage of her career, was a matter of envy to community in which she lived. As she became closer to the ruby of wealth and fame, she became a stranger to relationships until she received a missing in action message about her brother who was serving his period in Afghanistan. 

The fidelity in which one live would fade away the moment the fear of rejection gets into him and Karim was a victim. When nothing edible would suffice Karim’s hunger, he was left with no option other than to join a militant group who did everything to establish their authority upon everything they smothered. 

Against all warnings and odds that restricted Sabreena from reaching Gaza, she finally stepped into the warzone. 

The sound of bullets and bombs  may not be much different from the noise in the industrial area of New York City. It all weighed in the same decibel to crack up her ears. A cashmere shawl which she bought in one of her church sales was the only cloth she was having to cover her head. Like a deer in the lion’s den, she was attacked and ridiculed of being an American. Like a sheep to the slaughterhouse she was taken in a caravan filled with caracasses of living bodies to a warehouse, to be raped. 

The nightwatch was Abdul, the overseer of the gang of militants, gave Karim authority to slaughter the dignity of Sabreena.  The helplessness that one feels when they can’t hide their nakedness and exposed top to bottom infront of a strange man is the worst feelings. She cursed the moment when she was formed in her mother’s womb. The ripped soul and body post rape lay intact infront of her eyes. Getting raped at the gunpoint in a strange land was not even in her worst nightmares. But out of blue, Karim whispered in her ears, don’t worry, I’m not gonna hurt you in a clear US accent. For past 25 years, Karim was preparing himself to settle in the US and hence he mastered the accent. 

He shouted something in Arabic like language lifting up his gun and held Sabreena by her hair. 

Just follow my movement, trust me I’m not gonna hurt you. As he again raised his voice to his fellow militants, Sabreena followed Karim’s lead. Tha gang hailed Karim to show their support and got busy with other girls. 

One question remained in Sabreena’s mind, why did he rescue her? 

Beside the rubbles of ruined city, under the dark grey sky, and handful of stars he whispered, look I don’t like to be here. I hate what they do. I’ll take you out of this place, but will you please get me to US? 

Though it sounded like a good offer, her ultimate aim was to find about her brother.There was a peck of an emotion that can’t be defined through words was sowed in both of their hearts.  

She had never given up at any point of her life and this time too followed her routine. She explained about her situation and the reason why she was there to Karim. He guided her to US military camp. To the US military, Karim was an aid. He had rescued girls before and helped them get back to their homeland. It was indeed a risky business. If any of his gang members finds what he does with the girls, he will be brutally murdered. But that fear of death never bothered Karim, since he was so much confident about his focus.

Sabreena found that her brother was injured terribly in an encounter and she has to take him back home for further treatment. Sabreena and her brother were airlifted and sent back home. As they were departing, Karim prayed with his eyes opened that atleast this lady should not be like the rest, who never returned to rescue him. 

Days and months passed by, Sabreena, still in her corporate heights, Karim, still in Gaza, helping people expecting someone would get back to him. Finally thanksgiving day came and Sabreena just took her diary to find how her year was, until she came across May 13th, she was ignorant about Karim and what he has done for her. He told the entire story to her family and her brother who now completely recovered from his trauma. 

If someone has helped you, you should never delay in acknowledging them, her dad poured out his wisdom, People get caught up in their job and life, but sometimes a thank you note is not enough. With tearful eyes she left the living room where her family was seated. 

Her heart was pounding to be with Karim, and to take him out of the ruins. She set her mind and packed her bags, this time the missiom was different.  She had stayed there for more than a week, but couldn’t meet Karim. Her brother’s friends in military came for her help. They went for patrol in search for Karim but got back unfulfilled. This went on for few days until military gave up on their search, on top of that the orders were given to roll out from their mission in Gaza. The last hope has now flew away, and now the batallion is all set to get back to homeland. Everyone was happy except Sabreena. As the trucks and tanks were leaving, Sabreena, in her bones felt to get down at the place where she promised him to get back, not by words, but by the lock of their eyes. 

She heard a ear cramping gunshot near to her, and she saw Karim, bleeding. She, with her full strength ran towards him and pulled him towards her. The army doctors rushed, doing whatever they could to abstain the soul from departing Karim’s body. Sabreena started reciting Psalms 23, Even though I walk through the valley of death I’ll fear no evil, in Karim’s ears. 

Days passed, Karim has got his senses back and Sabreena didn’t have an option to stay back. She was compelled to leave along with troop. But this time she was not ready to leave Karim behind. When she discussed about this to her lawyer and he informed him the procedures. Keeping the soldiers as witnesses she knelt before Karim, with her hands extended and uttered the beautiful question, Will you marry me? 

They burned down all the walls of religion, culture, ethnicity and built the bridge of love.

Disclaimer: It’s purely a work of fiction.

Back to past

When the boredom hit me, I gazed out through my window pane, and there were four young boys who were chatting and playing around and making use of their summer vaccation to the maximum.They are in their golden period of their life. Free of all worries, for they are not anxious about what will they have for their next meal or about any of those deadlines that managers shove on employees’ face. What more to say what’s happening in the Wallstreet or the world economy are not going to shake them. Once I too was such a child who lived in a dreamland. I was the Lucy Pevensie of my own Narnia.

Photo courtesy: Today’s Parent

Those were the best days of my life and I know the feeling of Summer of ’69. 

“Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I’d always want to be there
Those were the best days of my life”

Well said Bryan Adams. 

Break through depression

Recently I went through depression. Everybody pass through this phase, some may be strong enough to overcome it overnight, others may not. Some may express what’s happening inside them to the outside world, others may not be good at it.

When I went through that phase, doing following helped me to boost my spirit.

1.Take a walk in the outdoor.

There is so much in the fresh air and the greenery around you. When the swift breeze caress you, don’t hesitate to believe that the whole universe is there with you, to comfort you and listen to your hearbeat. They can understand what’s happening with you. The small gesture of nature can bring a smile on your face. Just be in the moment and don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.

2. Write all the blessings that you have in your life.

I started with my parents. For you, it may be your friend or pet or your job or there will be something in your life that you can treasure.  If you think that you don’t have any of those blessings, atleast you have a good wifi or a mobile phone through which you can read this post. I know sometimes even these blessings cannot help you overcome your depression, but there is nothing wrong in trying.

3. Think about your best memories.

When the depression struck me, I tried to think about the time I spent with my pet or the time I walked on the beach. If you don’t have such memories, atleast make one by imaging your self walking on the beach, this can trigger a good mood in you.

4. Have a cup of coffee or tea.

Depending upon you favorite hot beverage, take tea or coffee. The caffeine contained in the coffee and tea can provide better vibes.

5. Hug your loved ones.

Though this may sound silly. I have personally experienced how relaxing it is when you just hug your loved ones. While hugging, your mind knows that there is someone it can share its burden with, and this ease out the strain or pain you are undergoing

6. Read a story book.

The reason why I specifically said a story book is a story can trigger your imagination. If the creative side of your brain is invoked, then it can uplift your mood and you can feel relaxed.

7. Take a cold shower.

There were times when I couldn’t handle the pressure and simply walked in the cold shower to feel better. As you stand under the shower, all your pain, frustration and the burden all gets washed away.

8. Wear a good perfume.

Good smell can provide a good energy. That’s the reason why in the spa aroma candles are used.

9. Cook a meal

This is a therapy I give to myself to feel better. Having a healthy meal not only feeds your body but also your soul.

10. Watch your favorite comedy movie or listen to your favorite band.

Nothing can beat good music. Laughing can relax your mind in a way you cannot even imagine.

11. Pray or meditate

Actually this has to be the first tip, since this is the most important one I left it for the last. If you have noticed, all the points which I mentioned earlier are related to invoking your five senses. Those are all like  having a pain killer, only to kill the pain without treating the root cause. Only prayer can heal your soul. Meditate on your favorite verses. There are thousands of blessings in the Bible. Keep saying them. When your ears hear them, they trigger a belief in your mind which help to ultimately overcome the fear that you have in you.

Most of the times people fall into depression, when something has happened beyond their hope and expectations. You have to let it go. Clear your head from the bad memories, know that there are people out there who are going through worst than you, but still facing it with courage and braveness. Don’t be a coward, be strong. You can do it.